Remember that game Minesweeper? As a young kid I would let the anxiety build and build as I carefully clicked on each square, as if my life depended on it. Then I would get so wrapped up that I would pretend I was a military general, and the fate of the US was in my grubby little hands and mac n cheese stained mouse. Suddenly, I made one wrong move and BOOM a mine exploded! Windows XP was not having it, nor were the American citizens. I failed them all and wept for the once great nation.
Then I would quickly forget about it and go fuck around somewhere else.
I’ve always been pretty intense as a kid, and had an active imagination that meant going swimming was actually a quest to save dolphins or taking a picture was my National Geographic assignment.
It served me well and good when I was a kid with a 5 second rule attention span (or was it minute?) but unfortunately, as I grew up my mind sometimes “blew up” the consequences of certain things. One of these was admitting to something that completely unearthed some major denial. So when some earth shattering truth is revealed to ourselves, our brains go into panic mode. It is especially worse when, trying to further deny it we tell others, “how much you love it and its always been your dream blah blah blah ” with a forced smile.
Oh no, I’m actually NOT in love with my fiancé.
I’m following an education major and I detest working with kids!
I can’t go on one more day living in this city!
You see the kool aid laced part of our brains associates huge terrible consequences for admitting our real feelings regarding our situations. Not only that, but it makes what I call the Spiderweb of Doom. Not only will this truth bomb alter the way you have been living your life, but it will also disappoint your mom, dad, dog and rich uncle who sure as hell won’t give inheritance money to a law school dropout. Then prime time television will make a special entitled “Baptized and confirmed catholic reveals horrifying truth – he wants to explore Buddhism!”. And then the spiderweb will get so big even Spiderman won’t be able to save you!
Unfortunately since we are so embedded with the false belief that any misstep in our five year plan will derail us completely, we ignore and suppress our truths in fear. Worse yet, we actually trust those irrational thoughts!
So when our higher self /soul makes us aware of our deep desires and dislikes, we see it as a bomb going off. And given their destructive and messy nature, we want to bury it even deeper.
But here is where the problem lies – not in the content of the newfound truth but in the catastrophic magnification of it.
Let’s take a look a it from the Source Perspective.
Think of the most harmless, innocent and beautifully simple thing on this planet, like flowers. So imagine this bed of flowers are your truths.
Take 5 random flowers and for each one write a simple small truthful preference (the more inconsequential the better.) For example, daisy says my favorite food is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The rose says the exercise routine that best serves my body is yoga and weight lifting every other day. You can visualize your own five statements.
According to source, there is no real difference on your aligned desires. They are all equally fine doable and supported!
So wanting to move to a place that makes you feel alive is the same as wanting to redo your wardrobe to better express yourself. The first truth will have more obstacles and resistance to making peace but it is no more of a BIG DEAL than the latter (in the eyes of the universe). Cosmic forces will aid you either way. Admitting where you REALLY are is the best bravest and most beneficial step you can take in any journey.
Eventually, your favorite food can change to something healthier, and maybe you discover the zen of running. Likewise, allowing yourself to accept a “major” realization necessary for your authenticity will make the acceptance and action on future revelations easier to follow through. See given the nature of a garden, some plants will eventually die. But then their skeletal remains will give rise to new mutant ones with even more awesome preferences/desires that will allow your soul to grow! Hell yeah!
Switch that energy from fighting these truths into fertilizing the soil for your own personal Eden!